


pink and blue are but suggestions

by mendaciousmind



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Genderbending, M/M, Panic Attacks, Rule 63, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-05 21:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1832548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mendaciousmind/pseuds/mendaciousmind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newton's a boy, and will always be that way. Or so he thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Off your chest

Newt knew something was wrong. He scrambled out of bed wearing his pajamas, thanking whatever deity was out there that Hermann had left. He floundered for the light switch banging the wall where the switch was until the lights flickered to life. He squinted in where the mirror should be but everything was blurry. Glasses. He suddenly realized he needed those to see. His chest sank and felt like there was at least 5 pounds on him. He quickly returned to his dresser and grabbed his glasses from next to his kaiju toy he insisted on keeping. Now that he had his glasses on he returned the then feet to the bathroom and his stomach bottomed out. His hair was longer and his face was more feminine. His eyes were wider and his eyebrows sparser. His lips were more round and he suddenly had hips. He had boobs. He was a girl. Newt spluttered in disbelief rubbing her face. Her mind raced wondering if her clothes would fit. She tore open her dresser and tried on everything with no luck. Her pants didn't fit over her hips, but luckily her shirt and tie still fit. Taking a deep breath she picked up her phone, knowing Mako would still be in her room across the hall and dialed her number hearing the ring in her ears.

Mako was over as soon as she heard Newt had a problem. "He almost never calls." She muttered. He had asked for clothes and Mako threw a bunch of her old clothes she never wore in a bag. He had asked for stranger than a skirt. When she opened the door she was startled to come face to face with a blubbering Newt.

"What happened?" Mako questioned fretting over her colleague. She ran her hands soothingly through Newt's hair calming her. Once she stopped blubbering she jumped to her feet and began pacing running her hands through her hair.

  
"I'm not sure honestly. I just woke up like this and flipped out. I don't know what to do and oh my god Tendo is going to freak." Newt latched onto Mako startling both women.

  
"You'll help me, right?" She pleaded and gave Mako her best puppy-dog eyes and batting her eyelashes.

  
"Let's start with makeup. Now which do you prefer, red or blue?"

  
"Uh, blue?" Newt answered startled at the question.

  
"Okay blue it is. Now sit down and take off those glasses so I can work."

  
"Here, take this and put it on. No, Newt you don't wear it like that. Stop, you'll smudge my work." Mako chided giving Newt's hair a final spray to keep it up in it's position.   
"There, I think you'll like it." Mako said gesturing to the bathroom mirror with a small flourish. Beyond the small chips and rust in the mirror Newt thought she looked stunning. Her hair was up in a braided bun and her lips were painted an icy blue. Her eyes looked incredible with whatever Mako did (she mused to herself wondering why she didn't pay attention so she could replicate the look). Her shirt was clean pressed and she wore a black skirt to just mid thigh. Thankfully her shoes still fit and looked complete with her outfit. Mako quietly observed Newt, committing this image to memory and memorized the tattoos swirling down her thighs.

  
"Thank you Mako, I feel like a rockstar!" Newt bubbled content rising in her chest. She grabbed Mako in for a crushing hug and donned a faux leather jacket and a knit circle scarf. Newt slipped out of the door and raced swn the halls, only to realize she was wearing a skirt, and slowed to a speedwalk. Men all over the Shatterdome stared at her, and some even whistled at her. She growled loudly and grabbed the man who whistled at her.

  
"Don't you fucking whistle at me you misogynistic chavnist pig." Newton snarled, and punched the man in the face.   
"And that's from all the other girls you harassed, _with love_." She let her last two words drip of sickly sweet sarcasm before turning on her heel to face Stacker Pentecost. She knocked on the metal door five times and felt the vibrations reverberate through her. She heard a muffled 'come in' through the door and quickly slipped inside.


	2. Strain

His reaction wasn't what she had expected. Not that she really expected much from her Marshall, but a bit more than an eyebrow raise was certainly in mind. 

"Well as you can probably see I've turned into a woman. Not that it'll affect my productivity at all." Newt silently cussed to herself as the words escaped from her head to aloud. Stacker raised his hand up and she silently flinched, remembering her mother. He waved his hand toward the door and she got the hint. Silently she thanked he didn't pry, after all stranger things had happened. 

On her way to the lab she thought she was going to murder whomever made bras a thing women needed. The straps kept falling down, and it was far too tight for her liking. "Seriously what the hell man this is more annoying than Hermann." Newt muttered as she stepped into the lab. 

"What was that Dr. Gei-" Hermann's breath fell short of finishing his colleagues name. His eyes fell into what he thought was Newton and his brain froze. 

"Excuse me may I help you Miss?" 

"Seriously I get changed into a girl and everyone gets all weird on me. It's still me Herms." As if to prove her point she rolled up her sleeves and pointed at her tattoos. 

"Newton? Was zum Teufel ist mit dir passiert?" Hermann asked his voice barely a whisper.

Newt raised an eyebrow. Hermann never usually slipped into German mid conversation, or swore like that. 

"Well a. I'm speaking English and you're not and b. I'm a girl now." 

"Newton, how did this happen?" Hermann muttered at his lab partner. 

"If I knew I'd be telling you. I don't know and I'm not sure I want to." 

Hermann sighed and rolled his eyes. His lab partner was always getting into messes, however none of them were as strange as this. 

"Hermann don't roll your eyes at me." She whined in his direction. She quickly shed her layers and rolled up her shirt sleeves to examine a new specimen. 

"Are you sure you can do that?" Hermann asked crossing the caution tape dividing the lab. 

"God, don't be so sexist Hermann I'm perfectly capable you needn't coddle me." Newt muttered under her breath.

"Sexist I'm most certainly not." Hermann huffed his gaze falling on Newts lips as she talked. He only stared for what he felt were a few seconds, but it was apparently much longer. 

"Hermann seriously don't zone out like that." She said as she waved her hand in front of his eyes, finally gartering his attention. He seemed dazed for a moment before regaining his senses. Then he did something so utterly stupid he'd be slapping himself for weeks. He kissed his stupid colleague to make her shut up. He kissed those stupid lips painted blue. He kissed them. Newt was so startled she almost fell off her stool. Her knuckles clenched the stool until her knuckles turned white and she worked up the courage to slam him away. Tears welled in her eyes and she let her stool drop to the floor. She began to speak but her tears had found their way on her face. She choked back a sob and ran for the lab doors, damned if she was in a skirt or not.

Hermann let out a string of curses in German and buried his head in his hands. He had just totally and utterly fucked his relationship with Newton and he'd never get it back.


	3. Inebriated panic

Newts first thought once she broke free of the shatterdome was that she left her jacket in the lab. She definitely wasn't going to go get that. Luckily she carried emergency money in her shoe and she could really use an emergency drink. Not that Newt was hooked in alcohol she just found it was her vice and rolled with it. She slipped into the first bar she came across and ordered a beer. While waiting she nervously traced her tattoos and picked at her nails. She felt a cold glass pressed into her hand and a sympathetic smile from the bartender. 

"Rough breakup huh?" The bartender mused redoing her hair into a blonde ponytail. 

"Something like that." Newt muttered flashing her a small smile. She laid her money on the table and ordered another drink for when her first one would be empty. Knowing herself, it'd be soon. 

Newt managed to sober herself up some and re apply her makeup somewhat decently before stumbling out of the bar. 'Which way to the shatterdome again? Left or right. Newt you have a fifty fifty shot.'

She chose right and quickened her pace as she passed through a remarkably shady part of Hong Kong. Cursing that her Cantonese was rusty she balled her hands up at the edge of her skirt and accepted she was lost. She knew most of the city like the back of her hand, but being inebriated and in the slums wasn't the best combination to help her memory. She passed unfinished skyscrapers and half made houses accompanied by blood spattered lawns. Crime was especially rampant now that there were fewer police officers. Most had chosen to work for the PPDC as builders or security, some even became pilots. She resurfaced out of her recollections and realized she could actually read the signs. Figuring that she was close to the shatterdome she made the choice to ask a man for directions. He seemed friendly enough and wasn't armed with a weapon like most other people around here. They had a quick conversation and he pointed her to a shortcut between an old steel mill and a nightclub. She thanked the man and turned to faced the path when everything went awry. 

A sharp whistle, two long and five short startled Newton out of her mind. She continued forward reminding herself she could do this before edging to a halt. Men of all sizes (mostly huge and burly) surrounded her on all sides. Before her senses were fully processing the situation, all of the men pounced at the same time. They grabbed her by her hair and neck, looking for money and a little more. One slid his hands under her skirt and Newt panicked. Her heart kept and her hands were clammy and she kicked the man in his face. He grumbled and swung at her face, connecting with her jaw. She fought off the men throwing punches, kicking and biting until they let off. She was slumped against a wall nursing her wrist and the man who she had kicked earlier spit on her.

"That's for not putting out, you whore." Then as soon as they came, they left leaving Newt to try and think her way out of this situation. Her glasses were smashed and her head was pounding. She knew standing would not be an option, at least for a while. She decided her best option was to remain where she was and hope that dying wasn't as bad as she thought. She closed her one eye that wasn't already swollen and laid her head back on the concrete wall of the ally. All she thought of before falling asleep was not of how stupid she was, but how sorry she was that she would never get to make amends with Hermann. 

Newt awoke to harsh sunlight on her face. She checked her watch to the best of her ability and noticed it was well past 3:30pm. A helicopter flying overhead distracted her, and she noticed the PPDC logo on the side. It was flying low and it donned on her she really wasn't far from the shatterdome. Newt tried to push herself to her feet, but to no avail. Her legs wobbled and she slid back to the ground.  
"Fuck, this isn't going to work. I need something else otherwise I might as well say my prayers." the scientist muttered to herself as she pulled her bra strap up. Wait. Her bra. She reached into one of the cups and pulled out her PPDC standard issue panic button. It would send for someone to come get her. She felt dumb for not remembering but she had been pretty drunk. Her hands trembled as she pressed the button and it came to life pulsating a blue color. She was still mystified that nobody helped her, but around here people probably didn't ask questions for a reason. She set the blue button on her lap as she waited for whomever or whatever would take her away from the filthy slums. 

What seemed like forever to the battered scientist was probably only 10 minutes. She watched a PPDC car roll down the street slowly until it stopped in front on her on the sidewalk. Raleigh stepped out and muttered something in another language to someone in the car. He jogged over to Newt and put his hands on her face gently assessing her injuries.

"Doctor Geizler what happened?" he asked gently. 

"Went for a drink, got mugged and beat up pretty bad. What happened to you though? You look like a mess." She said, her face cracking into a smile. Her voice was hoarse from screaming but she left that out so she wouldn't worry her friend. He smiled and hefted Newton off the ground with ease. She inhaled sharply and her head spun from the sudden movement. She rested her head against his shoulder and allowed herself to fall asleep knowing she was safe.

All she knew when she woke up was that she was in pain. Every breath made her feel like she was dumped into ashes still smoldering. Her eyes ached deep into her skull and every pain sunk through the recesses of her body, filling every channel with a sea of aching. Her tattoos had become disfigured with yellow and purple splotches like over ripe fruit. She wished they would melt off her skin. For the first time in her life she hated her tattoos. She felt tears leak out of her eyes and catch in her eyelashes. Her chest started to rise and fall faster. She held back any pain she was feeling instead concentrating on her misery. She had completely alienated herself. She was really alone this time, not even Hermann would tolerate her anymore.  
"I'm just a big fuck up." She whispered to herself. 

"Newton, we both know that's not true." he spoke slowly. Newt tried to pinpoint who's voice it was considering she couldn't see anything without her glasses unless it was ridiculously close to her face. 

"Listen to me, you are one of the most magnificent people I know, and I have the pleasure of working with." 

"Herms?" Newt squeaked sitting up in her bed. She realized this was a bad idea and everything in her was screaming at her to stop. She picked up a faint smile on his face and blindly reached for him. He enveloped her in a hug and she muttered her apologies to him as he wiped tears away gently. 

"I'm also sorry for ah- kissing you and causing this mess." Hermann apologized looking at his lap. 

"Listen Hermann its not that I don't like you. I've literally had the biggest crush on you for years, but I thought you only liked me because I'm a girl. I sorta flipped out but it, uh, really crushed me." She confessed stumbling over her last sentence recalling how she felt. 

"Newton Geizler, I love you no matter what gender or sex you are." Hermann replied, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. Newt made a small noise of pleasure in her throat before stifling a yawn. 

"I think it's time to get you more painkillers love." Hermann mumbled to himself mostly. He pressed the intercom calling the nurse in. "Be here when I wake up?" Newt mumbled sleepily to Hermann. 

"I swear on it." Hermann promised taking her hand in his and kissing it gently as the nurse pumped more morphine into her veins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda smooshed a bunch of plot things together in this chapter im so sorry.


End file.
